Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Twifug Saga

Last week, I walked past a woman wearing this T shirt:
Now normally, I celebrate any opportunity to ogle the loveliness that is Robward. Unfortunately the woman wearing the shirt had not felt the need to holster the girls that day and they were pretty much doing their own thing. The end result being that poor Edward's face was so stretched and disfigured, it looked like he was either having a stroke or tossing out the stink eye to innocent bystanders.

I would have tried to take a photo with my iPhone, but this gal looked like she might cut a bitch up and I was not in the mood to yank fake fingernails out of my face. I love you all, but not that much. It did get me thinking, though, about some of the other questionable twi-fashions that have offended our eyes over the past year.

For your consideration (WARNING: irreversible cornea damage may occur):

Although most of our questionable items come from perennial favorite, no list would be complete without the infamous Pattinson Pants:

She's probably closer to sitting on Rob's face than any of us will ever get. Sigh.

Do not refresh your browsers - those are indeed pants with pictures of Robert Pattinson all over them. Unfortunately, the "Pattinson Pants Lady" has informed the Twi-world via LTR that she is planning to retire the Pattinson Pants. I'm not convinced we've seen the last of them, though...

Giving the Pattinson Pants a run for their money are these two pairs on offer from etsy sellers StickerX and Redhairedgirly:

These are boy's size 18, BTW. Because your 12-year old son totally won't get the shit kicked out of him when he wears these to school, right? Right?

These skivvies (source unknown, and that's probably a good thing):

Ohhhh, fake blood stains AND another man's face...  these will get my boyfriend HOT!

This hat by etsy seller Madsciencecreations:

I ain't gonna judge how you keep your ears warm. I'm from New England - you do what you gotta do!

These shoes, which I found on the lovely Twi-blog

 My shoes have teef.  Respect, bitches!

This Edward Slap Bracelet, which was being sold at Hot Topic and can now be found on ebay. The irony aof having Edward's face wrapped around your wrist is not lost on me. What is lost on me, however, is why anyone would want to resurrect these damn things from the 80's graveyard where they belong. I still have hairless patches on my arms from when these were popular the first time around 20 years ago:


Speaking of the 80's (and courtesy of etsy seller laniebeth)....

 Marty The Bananager really wants you to have this.

This one from etsy seller optic threads is a bit of a mystery to me (and apparently to the guy modeling it - he looks a little out of sorts, no?):

Remember that part in New Moon with the flying saucers??? Yeah, me neither.

For those of you who are handy in the kitchen, here's a swell apron from etsy seller diehardtwilighter:

The in-laws will be so relieved. They've had Human twice already this week and they're over it.

One of my personal faves, by etsy seller screambeauty. In these troubled economic times, it's important to stretch the life of your car:

And last but certainly not least, I think this shirt from etsy seller DavidTaylorDesigns sums up what most of us feel but are too ashamed to say: 

And the truth shall set you free....

 Anyone ever seen any of these live? Anyone wanna 'fess up to owning one of them? :-)
TwiFug s

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