Thursday, August 27, 2009

LOLPattz: Rob tries out his sales skillz


Well, Rob, let me see.... strapping your nekkid self into the passenger seat would be a good start. 

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Overheard in the Comic Con Portrait Booth

Rob: Kristen, you wanna go make out in the limo?
Kristen: You're so sweet, Rob! But I really need to practice my bitchface first. Maybe later?
Taylor: I can't stop staring at it. It's robbing me of my will to live.
Ashley: Taylor, I promise it'll be OK. The mullet will grow out.

Rob: *Sigh* Fine. I guess I'll go eat a Hot Pocket instead. Find me when you're done.
Kristen: Check this one out - I call it "Snarky With a Hint of Boredom." Pretty good, no?
Taylor: You're totally right, Ashley. Thanks! Can I touch your butt?
Ashley: My shoes are HOT.

STFU bows down to LTT and LTR (and gets FUBAR on PBR. JK! It was Heineken)

Letters To Twilight and Letters To Rob did two fabulous posts this morning and everyone should go read them. Because I say so and I have indisputably great taste.

LTT talks about the differing opinions on what it means to be a "real" Twilight fan. Given that STFU is all about showing our love by finding the funny and absurd in the world of Twilight, I totally agree with Moon's Twilosophy of "loving the good and calling out the bad."

Over on LTR, UC brings a very important public service announcement about how Rob can improve your health! We think it's something every woman should be aware of.

Ladies, you are my Twidols! Keep bringing the LOLs, they get me through the day :-)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Wolfpack Loves Muffins!!! (and baked goods?)

So I've come across this interview of Wolfpack member Kiowa Gordon (who plays Embry Call) and Taylor Lautner talking about one of their favorite New Moon scenes a few times now.

It has set my bloggy senses tingling (I'd tell you where they tingle, but I don't like to brag, you know....) and I just can't hold back any longer. I may get arrested for this post, but at least I'll be at peace as I hammer out license plates in the pokey.
"I call it the muffin scene," Kiowa said. "We all gather around at Emily's house — it's Sam's, the big pack leader's fiancee — and we all just gather around and eat muffins and talk about stuff."

Sounds like our kind of feast, but unfortunately for star Taylor Lautner he didn't get to join in the muffin merriment. "When they were eating their funny little muffins, I was standing in the back, all pissed off," Taylor said of the scene. "So I just got to watch them eat their muffins." 

Now, in my (not so) humble opinion, these boys sound waaaaay too excited about these muffins for them to just be talking about baked goods. Granted, I am a dirty old lady with a dirty old lady mind, but srsly - did no one over at MTV bother to read this before they posted it? Or does muffin not mean what it meant when I was in high school anymore? Cause if it does, I totally DO NOT remember this part of the book, and Melissa Rosenberg and Chris Weitz are gonna have some esplainin' to do to when Summit sees the final cut.

 Damn, you guys - why didn't you tell me my muffin breath was so bad!?

And frankly, Taylor, I think you are totally right to be pissed off. You certainly weren't getting any muffins from Kristen while you filmed New Moon (she only bakes for Rob, natch) so it just seems mean for them not to share with you. Hopefully you've been able to get your hands on some muffins in the meantime. If not, just put this on and I'm sure thoughtful fangirls will start offering you muffins wherever you go!

P.S. Yes, I I know I'm probably going to hell for this. In a handbasket full of muffins :-)

Monday, August 24, 2009

I Kind Of Love Peter Facinelli

Mr. Twitter-to-be himself, Peter Facinelli (, just tweeted the following:

Went to the movies last night. Three out of five of the previews were for vampire movies. OMC (oh my Carlisle)... What have we

I love that a) he knows about OME and admits it and b) he is shameless enough to try to make OMC happen. 


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Etsy TwiTastic: Life-size Edward Wall Decal

While planning our wedding this past July (Can you believe I'm married? I know, right.... Anyhoo...) I came to adore the crafty goodness that is Almost everything is handmade, and buying from etsy helps you support up-and-coming small business owners. Huzzah!

Like everywhere else on earth, the obsession with all things Twilight has invaded the etsy community. You can find pretty much anything that even the most discerning Twilight fan could ever want or need. We'll be featuring some of our favorite etsy Twi-merch here on Shut The Forks Up.

First up is a Life-Sized (6'2" - that's his HEIGHT, people. Srsly, get your minds out of the gutter) Vinyl Edward wall decal made by the lovely etsy seller Vinylfruit. We know he's been mentioned on a few other Twi-blogs, but we just felt like he deserved some additional lovin'.

 FSV Edward wants you to be safe.... IN BED! On nom nom fortune cookie nom nom.

If you're like us and totally jealous of Twitarded's Full Size Edward cutout, but just not cool enough (or, ok,  hubby threw down the "hells no." Whatever hmphh) to get one of your own, Full Size Vinyl (FSV) Edward might be perfect for you.

Here are just a few of the benefits of having your very own FSV Edward:

  • He's waterproof, so he can keep you company (ahem) in the shower.
  • The hot guys you bring back to your room will totally appreciate his subtle reminder to glove the love.
  • He comes in almost any color, so if you need to hide him from a disapproving SO or non-twilovin' houseguests, just match him to your wall color and they won't even be able to tell he's there! Only you and FSV Edward will know - it'll be your little secret ;-)
  • He provides endless hours of entertainment through a little game I have dubbed "pin the peen on FSV Edward." If you don't succeed, just try and try again... and again... and again.... 
  • He's much less likely to give you frostbite on your lady bits than this thing.

FSV Edward would make the perfect gift for the Twi-lover in your life *cough cough* HINT *cough cough* Get him while he lasts!

Shut The Forks Up!

Wait, you love Twilight, too? Shut The Forks Up!

We're two sisters who love wasting most of our free time on all things Twilight. We haven't been tweens since sometime in the last century (Edward, we have so much in common! Call me. No really, call me. Please?) and we figured that if we're gonna makes fools of ourselves fawning over teenage vampires we might as well put it out there on the interwebs for all to see.

The lovely folks at Campbell's think we're mmmm mmmm good.

So sit back, relax, and Shut The Forks Up!